Valuing Yourself: I Statement Pitfalls

I Statement Pitfalls

Blaming makes others feel defensive. “I” statements are effective because they allow you to express your emotions without blaming.

The first part of the “I” statement must include facts. Include something specific that both people agree happened. For example, raising a voice, arriving 15 minutes late, forgetting to do something, etc.)

To avoid blaming, keep these two things in mind:

#1 State a feeling, not a thought

Choose the better "I" statement:

When you came home late, I felt like you were being a jerk.
When you came home late, I felt disrespected.

#2 State the facts, not your opinion about the facts

Choose the better "I" statement:

When you laughed at me after I hit my elbow on the countertop, I was offended.
When you acted like a jerk, I felt offended.