“I” Statements

As discussed in Lesson #4, using an 'I' statement is both assertive and effective. There are three basic components to an ‘I’ statement:

When you _______________(state a behavior)
I feel ______________(state feeling)
In the future, I would appreciate it if you would _____________ (state change you would like them to make).

Hover over the images below to view examples of good "I" statements:

  • “When you raise your voice at me, I feel threatened. In the future, I would appreciate it if you would speak to me in a quieter tone.”

  • “When you call me names in front of other people, I feel embarrassed. In the future, I would appreciate it if you would not do that.”

  • “When you told me that you were not mad at me, but then gave me a dirty look, I felt confused. In the future, I would appreciate it if you would tell me how you are feeling.”

Click on the video player to review the video about "I" statements again.

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