Conflict Resolution

Step 2: Describe what you want

Use “I statements” to clearly describe what you want (ex. “I want to use the book” rather than “You’re being unfair”). Identify a small and specific mutual problem.

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the circles for more tips.

• Be specific about what is bothering you. Deal with only one issue at a time.

Step 3: Describe how you feel

Use an “I statement” to describe how you feel (ex. “I’m frustrated” rather than “You make me so frustrated”).

• Avoid accusations.

Step 4: Describe the reasons for your wants and feelings

Explain your reasons assertively (not aggressively or angrily). For example, “You have been using the book for the past hour. If I don’t get to use the book soon, my report will not be done on time. It’s frustrating to have to wait so long.”

Be willing to cooperate, listen carefully, and deal with the reasons behind what each person wants. Make sure that each person involved in the conflict has the chance to identify his or her wants, feelings, and reasons.